At Uncle Gary's ten year memorial, the family released balloons sent to heaven with messages for Gary. So many words left unspoken, what did I want to say.
Gary was my husbands uncle. I had been with John for nine years when Gary was diagnosed with a brain tumor. At that point in my marriage, I had established close relationships with my immediate in laws, but Gary was part of the extended family that I didn't see often. When I did see Gary, it was in a group setting, a family dinner or birthday party where there was little opportunity for a heart to heart that would allow me to know how special this man was.
Gary will always hold a special spot in my husbands heart. John's father passed away when he was only eight. Gary was one of three men who stepped in and acted as a male role model for my husband. When his uncle was sick, it was important for John to be there for the man and the family who had given him so much support in his grief. We both wanted to be a safe place to escape when the hurt was overwhelming, just like they were for him years earlier.
This is how I know Gary. I got to know Gary through his illness and his fight. From how he touched other people. From his legacy. I know the huge gaping hole he's left behind. A hole that time will never fill. But it makes me sad, I didn't know the man during the best part of his life.
The message on my balloon said "Dear Gary, I miss you and think of you often" but, I hope he knows I meant so much more.
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