Sixteen

we were young,

best friends,

the first of our friends to get married.

i'm pretty sure that at least a few
of our wedding guests 

thought that we would fall apart.

and to be honest, even though

i loved him and he loved me,

part of me questioned

what the heck i was doing?

i believed that anything i wanted to do in my life,

i wanted to do with john beside me.

cheering me on, laughing with me, loving me.

and through it all,
the hard times that were harder either of us expected,
the good times that have been sweeter than i could ever have hoped for,

we didn't fall apart.

i still believe that anything that i want to do in life
i want to do with john beside me.
cheering me on, laughing with me, loving me,
falling together.

 

23/365 - 31/365

23/365 - April 16 - Drops on Dogwood - 

24/365 - April 17 - Desiderata

25/365 - April 18 - Boogie Nights

26/365 - Trickery - With some fancy editing this picture that was taken in the middle of the day, looks like it happened in the wee hours of the night.

27/365 - April 20 - Rain Drop

28/365 - April 21 - Soar

29/365 - April 22 - Earth Day Nature Walk

30/365 - April 23 - RUN!!!

Easter Weekend

We had a great weekend and I took a TON of pictures.  I wanted to share them all, so here it is; my first video post.  Enjoy!

One Day, Someday.

I stood on my front lawn, my chest shaking and tears welling up in my eyes.  Above me, a parade of four seater sesnas were circling overhead.  My daughter was in one.

Kenzie was on a grade nine geography trip.  As part of her study on urban sprawl, the teacher arranged a field trip to fly around the city.

What was it about my daughter flying directly above me that caused my emotions to bubble to the surface?  A sense of relief?  Pride?  Absolute and pure joy?  All of those reasons, plus something so much more, a feeling I can't quite put into words, but reminds me of a line from one of my favorite story books, Someday by Alison Meghee. 

"Someday you will look at this house and wonder how something that feels so big can look so small,"

And one day, someday, our home wont look small because she is looking out of a plane window. Our home will look small because she has grown into the beautiful woman I know she will be.  One day, someday, she will have her own successes, home, family and life - and it's my hope that when she thinks back to her childhood, she will be filled with feelings so intensely joy full that her own emotions bubble to the surface.

Dance Nights

I'm a terrible dancer.


Not kind of bad, really bad.  Think Kate from Dancing with the Stars, or Elaine from Seinfeld and you'll get an idea of my dance ability.  Not being a great dancer has never stopped me from breaking out into random dance moves.  Often times, I will put on my IPod, or turn the stereo up and have my own dance party. 

My husband isn't a great dancer either so I don't feel that I am holding him back.  On our wedding day, we stumbled through U2's All I Want is You.  As awkward as it was, it was the best six minutes of my wedding day.  Because even though I can't dance, I love to dance.

Early in our marriage money was tight.  Music and dance became a way for the family have fun and connect.  We would have Friday night dance parties with the kids.  It was so cute to watch our little blond ragamuffins dancing to their favourite songs.  Later, once the kids were put to bed, the tempo would slow, and the music would get turned down. John and I would have the dance floor to ourselves.  Our Friday night dance parties are some of my sweetest memories of our life together. 

We still have family dance parties, they are just more random now.  Just the other evening we cranked up the tunes and danced for an hour or so.  My boys and I cut up the rug.  The Kid and her Dad didn't get up to bust a move, but I could tell that they were both enjoyed the nostalgia of the moment.  The evening ended with a slow dance.  Charlie and I danced to  U2's One. 

Our dance parties that remind me how sweet life is.  I will hold these memories close to my heart forever.  I have blessed - with two left feet and a family loves my quirky moves.

15/365 - 24/365 ~ Project 365

15/365 - April 8 - Stop Light - Sometimes being forced to come to a halt is a good thing.

16/365 - April 9 - Sunday Morning - After sleeping in on Sunday, I walked by my room.  The bed still unmade and the sun shining in - something about it made my heart smile and I had to get a picture.

17/365 - April 10 - The Squirt - Not only did The Little Man water the bushes, he also washed my van with his new squirt gun.

18/365 - April 11 - Frozen in Time - It was a windy day.  I kept thinking it would rain, but the wind pushed the rain clouds away.  I spent the afternoon on the back deck, cleaning and putting together our little fountain.  Charlie helped me place the rocks.  When I thought about what I wanted to remember about this day, I knew it would be the time we spent on the deck.  The Little Man and I have spent so many afternoons on our back deck.  Next year when he is in school full time, our quiet afternoons together will be over.  It makes me wish that I had the superpower to stop time.  Like the way the water in the fountain is frozen in time, caught midair with the click of my shutter.  

19/365 - April 12 - Reflections - Picture Inspiration asked us to look for and capture an image of a reflection - without actually capturing the object itself.  This is a picture of the tree in my backyard reflected on the patio table.  I hate these trees.  They are dead, and need to be taken down, but finances have not allowed it.  Somehow, reflected in the table, the lines of the bare branches transform.  They become graceful.  It's another reminder of how a change in your outlook, can be all you need to discover gifts normally unseen.

20/365 - April 13 - Napping in the Sun - Is anything  better than an afternoon nap in the sun?  Okay, I can think of lots of things too, but you have to admit this pretty little kitty sure looks peaceful. 

21/365 - April 14 - House of Cards - While I was stripping wallpaper, John was going through some of his Gramma's things.  He came across this deck of cards he remembered from his childhood.  His grandparents moved these cards from their old apartment in Port Credit more than twenty years ago. 

22/365 - April 15 - His Riches -  I walked by the Little Man's room to find that he had dumped his piggy bank.  I wondered what his plans were for his money.  When his Dad got home from work, Charlie said to his dad, "Hey Dad, I got us some money to go to slushie store."  A sure sign of spring; after dinner walks to the corner store to buy slushies.

Playing House - the reality.

The ache for home lives in all of us,

the safe place where we can go

as we are and not be questioned.

-Maya Angelou

  

Like many little girls, my favourite game to play was house. Taking care of my family of Cabbage Patch Kids, brought me such joy. I spent many hours imagining what my home would look and feel like. My reality - my grown up home, is so much sweeter than anything I could have dreamt up in my childhood games.   I have been blessed.  Hopefully for many years to come my reality will be better than my dreams, but life moves on.

Yesterday, we moved Gramma into long term care.  My head knows that this is what is best for her, but my heart aches for her.  

My heart is breaking for the little girls inside all of us women who played house and dreamed about our futures. 

This wasn't part of her dream.  It's not part of any of our dreams.   

This is what I've been thinking about as I strip the wallpaper in her apartment.  I am stripping away the layers of her dreams.  Crazy, I know - but still part of me feels guilty.  I don't think that the guilt is a bad thing. I believe that my feelings of guilt are there for a reason.  The guilty feelings sit on my shoulder like a conscience.  Not heavy or too much to bear, but a comfortable weight, just enough to help keep me in check.  The weight reminds me to give the job, Gramma, her apartment and her possessions the respect and consideration that is deserved.   

My hope is that Burloak will soon become more than a residence for Gramma.  A safe community where she has all she needs to thrive.  My hope is that Burloak becomes her home - maybe not one that dreamed for herself, but one better than any of her wildest dreams. 

Our home

Our current home is the  fith place we have lived together.

I wonder where the future will take us?

Seriously?!?

"Guess what today is?  It has to do with me, and buying me presents." 

 That's what my son's friend called out when he came over after school today. 

  Seriously? 

This from the kid, who didn't invite Josh to his party. 

This from the kid who comes to my home everyday after school.

This from the kid who has been Josh's best friend since grade two. 

I can be the adult here.

If Josh can take it with a grain of salt, then I can too.

"Happy Birthday Joe."

There I did it.

With steam coming out of my ears, but I did it.

"Did you get me anything?" he asked.

You've got to be kidding me.

Why is he poking Mama Bear?

"Did you invite me to your party?"
There goes my adult card.

"No."

"Did you invite me to your party" pipes up my son.

"No."

"Then no, I didn't get you anything."

geesh.

2/365 - 14/365

2/365 - March 25 -Focus - The Little Man has been loving craft time lately.  Almost everyday he is asking to do a craft.  Figures, I move the craft cupboard off the main floor and he all of a sudden wants to do crafts every chance he gets.  

3/365 - March 26 - Nap Time - Hubby taking a well deserved nap.  He has been working crazy hours.  It worries me when he works his body so hard. 

3/365 - March 27 - Birds of a Feather - The birds are back!  I love to hearing the birds singing.  Their songs are especially cheerful in the spring when the mister birds are looking for a lady bird to hook up with. 

4/365 - March 28 - Violets - I love gardening, but in my current home the light is poor and my inside plants don't do well.  These violets are a new addition, purchased to bring a little spring into my house.  I hope they live past spring, but it's doubtful. 

5/365 - March 29 - To Infinity and Beyond - Playing around with depth of field, as part of my Picture Inspiration class. 

6/365 - March 30 - Reflection of Me - In my new candlesticks, a birthday present from John.  Thanks babe, xo

7/365 - March 31 - Drops of Rain -

8/365 - April 1 - Fooling Around - Actually I was practicing for my photo shoot.  The kids were at school, and the cats wouldn't sit still so I used leftover balloons from my birthday. 

9/365 - April 2 - Pretty Boy - Today was the big photo shoot day.  The family asked me not to post pictures online.  I totally understood, but I was a little disappointed.  Instead I'm counting this one of Sam as my 365.  Isn't he pretty?

10/365 - April 3 - SNOW?!? - Okay, enough already.  I am so done with winter and white stuff falling from the sky.  I can only hope it melts fast.

11/365 - April 4- Go Fish - Today was Monday, and you know what that means?  Crafts with the Little Man.  Today we made paper fish, and went fishing. 

12/365 - April 5 - Sailboat Reflection - This weeks prompt for Picture Inspiration had us looking to capture reflections.  Not just the reflection, but the object + the reflection.  There were so many beautiful images in the gallery.  Here is one of my attempts.  I have tried lots of different ideas for the Reflection prompt, but I'm not thrilled with any of them.  I'll try again tomorrow. 

13/365 - April 6 - Evening on the Water - John and I went to visit Gramma tonight.  Park Manor is just steps away from my high school, and Lasalle Park Marina - my old stomping grounds, so to speak.  Even though we were running late, I asked if we could stop by the Marina before going to see Gramma.  I wanted to try once more for a killer reflection shot.  With John waiting in the running car, I jumped out to grab a few shots.   Geese hold special meaning to my family, and I am pretty happy with this shot.   

14/365 -April 7 - The View - I went to Gramma's old apartment today to start the task of stripping wallpaper.  I'm pretty sure that this statue is the real reason Gramma has been reluctant to move in the past. 

Rolling In The Deep

Just wanted to share my new favourite song.  Not only is the song great, but the black and white cinematography in the studio footage video is awesome.  enjoy.