Grandma has had a lifetime of loves and losses. Her mother, father, sister, son, husband and her daughter all great loves that she has lost. It seems so unfair that now she is on the verge of losing herself.
Like an unknowing, innocent child Dementia has taken her by the hand and is taking her down a road of uncertainty and fear.
More and more when I look into her eyes, instead of seeing the woman who I have grown to love and respect, I see the eyes of a girl, trying so hard to understand. It's heartbreaking to see her try so hard and comprehend so little.
All my life I've been a caregiver. I have given encouragement, love, praise, discipline, and advise to those who needed me. Knowing that one day the people I was caring for would become independent - or at least that's the goal. When you care for a child, you can say to yourself, "It's just a phase, they will grow out of it." Elder care is different, there is no growing out of it. It's harder because of the fact that with each passing phase there is a decline. Independence is still a goal, but safety and well being start to be the greater need to be met. The challenge balancing the two, with dignity and respect.
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Beautiful post on such a sad subject. You do a great job and I know that Grandma appreciates it, even though it might be hard for her to understand. Not to mention you are a pretty terrific friend.
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